I woke up thinking, for some reason, that Danny was next to me. I totally forgot that we broke up. I just leaned over to put my arm over him, listen to his heart, hear him breathe. When I finally realized what I was doing, I didn't really move. I felt sick all day long. I cried a lot. I didn't go out until about 6pm, nor did I eat anything until then. I talked to him about it a lot, which was still hard. I'm okay with the way my life is right now, but I just... I was so much more happy. I had so much more. Every once in a while I just remember those things, like holding him in my arms and just feeling him breathe. When I went out to get sushi at night I felt a lot better, but it's really hard to still be so upset. I don't know why this whole week just decided to hit me today. I hope this is the only day for a while.
Possible medical note?: I took a shower in order to calm down in the late afternoon, and was sitting there trying to relax when I... well, I hate saying fainted, but I defintely just woke up lying down not remembering how I'd gotten there. I don't know for how long but it must have been a couple minutes or so. This was probably because I was stressed and hadn't eaten anything or had any water all day.
amazing college story of the day:
So I went to sleep at like 2:30 in the morning and woke up at like 2:45 to hear someone saying the name of my roommate over and over again. I woke up and pulled the pillow off my head to see some guy standing there in the room. I could see him because he was still holding the door open. I was just like "what's up man" because I was too disoriented to make a reasonable response, like telling him to get the fuck out. He discussed wanting to "kick it with us" because "the night was young" in a slurred tone until I was just like "umm, I don't think we're going anywhere, you should go back to sleep", when he was finally pulled out of my room by one of his friends, who had apparently not noticed him wandering off. He wasn't so much creepy as he was drunk, although he did proposition me. Oh well. ONLY AT COLEGE AM I RIGHT GUYS
am remembering to lock the door from now on